Doubting Yourself And Your Spiritual Experiences?
(With supplemental comments)
by Soulful Toz, Contributing Writer, In5D.com, October 24, 2019 http://in5d.com/doubting-spiritual-experiences/
There is something about us lightworkers that makes us continuously stall. Continuously worry, doubt, fear and re-think what our gut is telling us. Has this been your experience? If so, lets all put down our tarot cards and astrological charts and see where the answers lie; within our bodies. (O.K., THIS is why I’ve posted my own experiences on this website… over 50 of them… to let people know that their own experiences are NORMAL, and NOT aberrations. ~ Don Chapin)
Sensitive beings will always take in from this world more than they can handle. It happens at a young age, everyone’s facial expressions immediately made us feel bad or good about ourselves. Eye rolls, opinions, criticisms, judgments hurt us more than any other physical pain. We took on everyone’s feelings. This made us want to always make the people around us feel good and happy. We became externally focused to such a degree that our own internal guidance systems were cut off from being valid, worthy or even relevant. What does that mean for us now? We do not trust ourselves.
Doubting your spiritual experiences and doubting your decisions are the most common categories I see in my clients, myself and in
the collective. Doubt is not believing that your opinions, your feelings, your experiences and the information you have is enough to get clarity.
Doubting Your Spiritual Experiences
We have all been there. Something intensely magical and transformational has swept through our consciousness. Moving experiences of a transcendental nature. Dark nights of the soul that have begun to spill over all of our darkest and scariest aspects.
(NO! The Dark Night of the Soul is a one-time occurrence for those that are unlucky enough to experience it. While devastating in its effects—the feeling of total and utter “abandonment” during that period—there are no after-effects except the memory of what it feels like and of relief when it’s over. ~ Don Chapin)
We go through these shifts and when they have just slipped away far enough into our memory we begin to doubt. People begin to ask questions. You cannot find the right words to explain. (There are no words in ANY language to describe some of these experiences… despite the centuries-long attempts in Sanscrit and Hindi, where you need to know the culture before attempting any translation ~ Don Chapin) Eyebrows get raised. You wake up and feel like you never did awaken, that it was all a dream. What a fool to think that you were on a beautiful human evolutionary train that was beginning to awaken all planetary consciousness.
The download’s you received must have been your imagination. You want to crawl back under your covers and you begin to Google your ascension symptoms and think instead that you have a severe illness.
The first step is to understand that this is a given in the awakening journey. You are going to doubt yourself, and that is OKAY. It is all a part of the process of unraveling your deep layers of unworthiness to give rise to the self-assured powerful being that you are. (ABSOLUTELY! ~ Don Chapin)
The second step is to keep a journal, a record. Every time you wonder whether what is going on is real, you will have enough evidence to quiet down those voices. Figure out what your patterns are, what is the usual road you go down when you think you are crazy.
Do you believe you are sick?
Have a mental illness?
Do you think you just dreamed it?
It was just a phase?
Are you comparing your experiences to others and feeling like yours wasn’t ‘spiritual enough’?
Just bringing this into awareness is what will make you pin point it and softly reassure yourself that this is what happens when another layer of doubt is burning away.
Doubting Your Decisions
Going around in the roundabout of making a decision: tossing and turning, backing away, seeking external opinions, shutting down and going back to square one is a cycle many of us have been on since the awakening. It seems that now we have more to consider and more that is on the line.
Are we making the right choice?
Should I stay with this person?
How will I make money if I do that?
Should I be pursuing that?
There are a million hours in each of our lives spent on this crossroad. We stand paralyzed and frozen, hoping for a spirit guide to throw us a life raft. We wait for clarity, and clarity doesn’t come. That is because we aren’t meant to wait. We are meant to feel what the decision makes us feel like within our cells, our hearts, our bones, our ovaries. Based on that feedback, we either go in the direction of it or in the direction of something else. Movement, not stagnancy. The only way to get the energy flowing is to move ahead and clarity can come and go when it needs to but it is not a requisite for us to begin leading the lives we want to live.
I want you to visualize the decision you are weighing up. I want you to feel if it feels one of three things within: Right, Wrong or Fear. If it is fear, you move in the direction of it because you know the doubt is only coming from an old wound, an aspect of you frozen in time. If it is wrong, you move away and if it is right you leap off that cliff.
The second thing to do is to imagine everyone around you was accepting of your choice, does that make you feel better? Then you know that the judgments of others was weighing heavy on you and putting pressure on your decision making. Part of learning to trust ourselves comes from separating the noise of everyone else’s expectations. (AGAIN, ABSOLUTELY! ~ Don Chapin)
There is absolutely no way to get it wrong. There is no way to fail at life, every ‘failure’ puts you on a new path that leads somewhere else. Just go, move and walk forward. Get the energy moving and don’t wait a second longer to get more clarity. Move from this point on with the knowing that you are moving in the direction of building self trust and that one day, your faith in your body and your soul’s deepest wisdom will come naturally to you. You have nothing to fear, you already know the answer.
Love, Soulful Toz
About the author: Soulful Toz underwent a spontaneous kundalini awakening 2 years ago that catapulted her into a new way of being. Through deep emotional and physical pain she learnt how to navigate and learn to work with the energy that was rushing through her body. Thus began the birth her authentic self, who is learning and sharing her navigations through the awakening process. Dedicated to integrative consciousness, authenticity and love. You can find her on Youtube (Soulful Toz) and through her website for individual sessions at www.soulfultoz.com